you know something?
these last 2 1/2 months in america could have really sucked.
let’s look at it this way:
i was supposed to leave to israel in august 2004. i had been talking about it for literally a year and a half, to numerous people, across 3 continents. someone even took the liberty of announcing it (against my will) to 300+ people at a shabbat dinner. everyone at binghamton was under the impression that i was gone. for 4 years i had built up a lizrael legacy around me – prime minister jokes aside – and people were expecting me to follow through.
then, 3 weeks prior to my departure, i chose to postpone until december, possibly june. i had to face my family, my friends, and all the people i dont know that well but knew about it. i had to tell them what i had decided. god. for me, it took balls to face people after all that build up in my head.
and what was i staying home for? i had my optimistic reasons, but the reality was i was going to live at home, work a shitty job that pays the bare minimum, work my ass off at a second job, lose my social life and dull my excitement for aliyah. i was going to face the post-college decline alone, in america – no glory, no palm trees, no dreams realized.
yeah, this should have been a crappy period in my life.
but in actuality, the last 2 1/2 months have been pretty amazing. despite. i’ve been able get back to my roots, be there for my family, grow in excitement, spend prolonged last moments with my closest friends, weed out some behavior i didn’t need anymore, develop a constructive attitude and bring around me some delicious karma.
i havent felt this great since my stint abroad. yet, i’m still in staten island – not getting high in budapest or wondering churches in vienna. staten island. it’s amazing the adventures you can create anywhere at anytime.
so… here’s to six more weeks of amazing myself.