I want to make you cry. I want you to see it so you can feel pain and pleasure.
I’m a reckless driver, I speed by on the highway home. I’m going in the opposite direction of home, it takes a minute to figure it out but that sky isn’t there for nothing.
More than the pinks and yellows of sunset, it’s more. It’s the tiny little outline of the airplanes I’m driving past. Thin outlines of a silver blue despite the orange sky. How does that silver lining get there? If I study it hard enough I’ll die in a car crash so I only ever get a glimpse of that silver lining.
The sky is there to map it out, above a field of track where planes are going to come and go for the next six months.
And I’ll be gone, you know. You didn’t know. I’ll be gone, I’ll be gone to where the pavement tastes like freedom. I’ll be gone to where my tears bear fruit. I’ll be on a plane for six months, and you’ll be here, wondering where I went to.
If I could make you cry, if I could make you feel pleasure and pain.
Then I’ll come back and I’ll be excited and you’ll be excited and we’ll hug and kiss and it will be sweet, almost like the fruit I bore with my tears, but never quite. I’ll be excited to come close to landing and see for the first time rows of this place, and my heart will skip for you and for then and for was.
But it won’t last. I can’t make you cry and I can’t make you sing and I can’t show you what that is – to go in the opposite direction of home, to follow the sky with your eyes, to feel the way and the silver lining along the bellies of airplanes.
FINALLY! nefesh! I’M GOING!
i’m homeless but im going!
no job, not much savings, no apt, not much family, but i’m going!
i was going to the city and there was a fatal accident and they closed the entire eastern spur both ways for 2 hours so hundreds of people were parked on the turnpike.
most bizarre thing i’ve ever experienced.
to the people i met on the NJ turnpike tonight: it was great hanging out with you while waiting 2 1/2 hours for the cops to let us go…
to the dance party car in back of me: you guys were mad fun, specially with the seven year old who was with you.
to the cab dudes smoking off to the side: thanks for offering me one.
to the woman in the cab coming from the airport: well, i hope you were coming from and not to the airport, cuz your flight was missed. sucks. and that cab fare – ouch.
to the cute guy i was talking to on the service lane: thanks for the walk down the turnpike towards the cops. i’ll never forget the way we raced back to our cars when the traffic finally started moving when we finally got to the end of the road. shame i didnt get your number. we could have partied in a proper club as opposed to the highway.
i’m glad i got a chance to spend some intimate time with NJ before i leave… i’m also glad i got to experience what the turnpike looks like with hundreds of cars sitting idle with their lights turned off.
oh my god.
an actual conversation i just had with my boss:
marc: any questions?
liz: no… but a man called from the taipei group asking about bringing 2 presents for the raffle at the convention. i wasnt sure what he meant, so i told him he should see ruth at the reception when he gets there.
marc: ok… you need to call him back and tell him to see ruth when he gets there…. ok?
no one in my office LISTENS. its incredible. my boss thinks that no one can handle responsibility. he doesnt believe i’m capable of breathing by myself. then he leaves me alone with no assignments for a few days at a time because he is too busy doing everyone elses jobs because they can’t breath on their own either. all the co-workers have conflict issues. there’s a major need for conflict management here. the office has a resident asshole, who everyone hates but are too afraid to speak up bec he is the CEOs cousin and treats everyone in that mindset. even the boss doesnt bother him. and the boss is best friends, certainly closer, with the CEO. people are either obnoxious and pushing everyone around, or too timid to reply. the timid ones are also braindead. no one does any work and every directory published is failing. there is less money coming in every year. this is the black hole of business. i dont know why anyone still bothers to show up to work. i say, everyone go update your resumes because the company is going down. and everyone knows it too. i just wanna scream at everyone when i see this stuff: the gossip, backstabbing, lying, petty shit that happens in high schools.
and i love it how everyone comes to tell me about it because i’m the new neutral one. i wish i could just sit everyone down in the boardroom – that hasnt been used in years – and start conflict negotiations. i really think i wouldn’t need a degree for it. i’d even do it for free.
so here’s an irony:
people who are anti-bush said that if bush won, they’re heading straight to the consulate for canadian visas.
people who are anti-kerry said if kerry won, they’re heading straight to the consulate for israeli visas.
bush won, and today i paid a highly anticipated visit to the israeli consulate.
Liz v. Aliyah round deux.
so, this is it. i’m dead serious. my visa is getting processed, my plane date is getting organized, my check should be in the mail soon, and i’m gone. i’m confidant, i’m anxious, i’m nervous, i’m just so there. (i am not, however, an alanis morisette song).
Guilianni as homeland security,
Obama as education,
Billy Clinton is sec of state,
John McCain as vice president,
Wesley Clark as defense,
Schumer as commerce,
Powell as justice,
Condi Rice as urban development,
Bush Sr. on foreign
Dear President Bush,
I thought I’d extend my vote into more of an explanation:
Just because you managed to pull one or two more electoral score points does not mean America has spoken. It means 50% of America has spoken, and many, maybe 20%-30%, reluctantly at that. In fact, 100% of America has spoken, but you aren’t listening to at least 50% of them. So I hope you do not think you are backed by 100% of America at this time; it is, by electoral college standards, a little over 50%, and in fact, as I previously noted, it is far less than that, who, despite casting a vote in your favor, actually agree with you in a complete sense – perhaps, say, they agree with you 10% or perhaps they only voted for you for your charming smile and 0% of your politics.
Fuzzy math? Yes. But you did go Ivy league, right?
George – may I call you that? George – I sincerely wish you luck in overcoming the hurdles in your path (old fat white men can be hard to jump over) and hopefully you will see the perverbial ‘light’. That’s figurative speech, George, not God’s word.
Keep up the charming smile. Dazzle those terrorists.
Dear John Kerry,
May I say, congratulations to you, your family, your campaign, and really, man – to you. You started out one of a sea of candidates, all mediocre at a time when the Democrats needed a strong leader pushing, post-Clinton. You astonishingly made it to the front, and with that, you took on the responsibility of leading a fractured party, half of the American people, and many throughout the world at large.
Though I may not have trusted you as president of the United States, I did learn something from you in the past couple of days. Not everyone is born presidential, and not everyone can fake presidential. But I think you are something more valuable than presidential. I think you have the kind of heart and soul and mind it takes for a man – nudged from the start and carrying your commitment through to the end in the name of America – the kind of heart it takes to remember us, the everyday citizens of America. To really mean it when you say it’s not over, that you will seek to be a role model in the capacity you are taking on (which by no means should be underestimated because it is not the executive branch).
You were a true mensch when it came down to election day and the hereafter. You’re still a politician, I’m sure, but it seems you, as well as John Edwards, learned a lot from you experience and the two of you will carry that forward in Congress.
So, despite your rival taking the throne, I do wish you the best of luck; I hope that you really will push the limits, bring new ideas for unification, become a stronger and louder voice for us where we cannot be – and in doing so, reach your potential as a voice of the people, a mind for strong decision-making, and a leader to trust amongst Americans.
for some reason, as long as i can remember, i get really happy on election day. i feel good and wholesome and like i’m in a working process, just for a day, things are moving and shaking and stuff is happening – stuff that my entire american education was based on. freedom! choices! ownership!
i’m even happier today than i was on my birthday. i’m a huge freak!
enjoy it for a few minutes! stand in the booth, take a deep breath and toast ‘liberty’. toast presidents as mere men, not devil-worshipping heathens. toast the fact that for most americans, pulling the lever or punching the card is the most excercise they’ll get all year.