Trying for caring kalla.

I just came from a kalla class and about to go to a wedding.

I’m torn about what to do about covering my hair and keeping full niddah laws. I guess this is very personal, or supposed to be.

Anyway, I haven’t felt religious in a long time, and religious to me has been in the context of Israel for a very long time, probably since beginning college. So I’ve been decently observant but not very religious I guess.

Maybe it’s something I’ll reconcile with marriage, and maybe not, considering me and the guy are on the same exact page which is a page filled with teetering ‘flip floppingness’.

More than one oleh has said they’ve found it harder to be religious in Israel. It totally make sense. You’re ‘safe’ here. You don’t need to constantly explain to coworkers or professors why you’re randomly taking off on a Tuesday and Wednesday. You get holiday bonuses for your own holidays. You’re pretty spoiled, if you’re only modern Orthodox anyway. There aren’t any challenges. Without challenges, I’m just flowing through.

All of a sudden I’m sorta secular and very confusing.

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