I’m 7 months into this pregnancy, and I have to be honest – I haven’t, and really can’t, give it the same attention I gave the first. How can I? On top of all the other things that go on in daily life, I have a toddler at home. A toddler who is used to a lot of attention. A toddler who is not so interested in relinquishing that attention. A toddler who combs his hair with cous cous. A toddler who randomly calls, Mama! Mama! Mama! and when I turn around, stares at me blankly.
I think part of developing the love and attention for the second child is including the first in it. It’s a family affair. A while ago we introduced Koala to ‘beebees’ and got him his own replicas. Pointed to Mama’s belly and said there was a beebee inside. Wakes up, takes his beebee and feeds her mai (mayim).
A wise friend told me that what will shock me the most is that I will immediately find that I indeed have the room in my heart to love two children infinitely. It’s not a matter of making room in a limited space; it’s not about loving one more or less. Your capacity grows.
I’m guessing that isn’t true for attention. And so go the stereotypes for second children…