dead passion

a: u know what?

a: if i had a choice between going to israel and having career passion and life drive or staying here and loving one man passionately and completely – shit.

b: damn

a: …we used to talk about passion a lot. and really, he never thought there was room for more than one passion in your life

a: i dunno

a: he might have been right

a: and the thing is

a: he might have resented the israel passion

a: i dunno if he’s right

a: i really don’t know anything

a: also, u know something else that’s weird?

b: go

a: when i voluntarily bring it up – its rare – but when i do – i feel like i’m talking about a dead person

b: wow

a: it’s so freakin eerie

a: i think i’ve convinced myself that he’s dead

a: when someone’s dead, u immortalize them to an extent that isn’t real

b: true

a: so will i always be comparing everything to this dead passion?

a: right now it’s all just a ‘concept’ in my head

a: that’s dangerous i think

a: not as dangerous as some other situations

a: but i don’t wanna wake up on a couch in 30 years to realize i’m not over a dead guy

a: weird

b: ?

a: i’ve never expressed that before