'Tis the season! Almost.

I know, I know. It’s nowhere near soup season yet. But both of us were feeling run down this week, and I’ve been craving my vegetable soup since Sunday.

So, like Christmas shopping in October, here’s to starting the season early:

Not yet back to school.


Sorry. But that’s a library.

I’ve been feeling let down by Bar Ilan lately. I guess I always thought the people who attended and sneer about it were just being patriotically negative, like so many of us are about our hometowns or schools.

But I’m feeling like the professors don’t even pretend to act inspired about what they do, what they’re saying. It makes me sad and uninspired and kind of like I don’t want to finish there.

How am I supposed to complete a Master’s Degree thesis with that kind of mentorship?

Homework.

After working for an hour and a half on my assignment covering ethnocultural tension, multicultural citizenship, contact hypothesis and sustained dialogue, I left the office and waited for my ghetto bus with everyone else. There I was, holding my English newspaper, feeling 10,000 miles away from the group of teen Ethiopians sing songing next to me; there they were, feeling 10,000 kilometers away from the group of young arsim rowdying nearby; there they stood, seeming 10,000 kilometers away from the dati-leumi (national religious) girl, standing and waiting for our ghetto bus.

We all faced each other, but we were all 10,000 miles away, with our backs turned.

If only I could hand that in as my paper: an example of our little society, pre-sustained dialogue, pre-contact, pre-intergroup relations.

No, we don't eat that.

Ha.

The more I am religious on my own terms, the more comfortable I am with it.
I used to be deathly afraid of having to explain my weird religion to people. I should say, my weird religious practices.

“So how come you can’t eat here?”
“It’s… not kosher.”
“But it’s bagels!”

“So why can’t you come out Friday night?”
“It’s the Jewish Sabbath… I can’t drive in a car or use money and stuff.”
“So, you’re Amish on the weekends?”

Well. As I’ve gotten older and more comfortable with myself in general, I have definitely seen an improvement in how I react to non-Jewish, non-practicing curiousity. I even slip a few jokes in there.

But man, are we Jews freakin’ weird.

Thank God when It's not Friday.

I hate Fridays in Israel.

I hate that it’s a short day. I hate that everything closes at 2 even if Shabbat is at 7. I hate that if you sleep late, then you’ve lost your one day to get things done outside of work. I hate that you can’t actually plan a whole fun day because you can’t go very far before you have to be back. I hate that no matter what, you’re spending half the day cooking and cleaning on your day off.

To be clear on my own hypocrisy, I do keep Shabbat, so I’m being a brat on this rant. I’m also pro-everything closing for Shabbat and living in a country with a Jewish character.

But that doesn’t change the fact that I hate Fridays in Israel.

How to kill… an Infidel.

Just when I thought there was nothing to ponder today:

Online guide: Killing ‘infidels’

Islamic website offers tips on killing foreigners in Saudi Arabia, tells potential attackers murdering foreigners easier than they think

…The document details several possible ways to kill western victims and provides tips on selecting them, following them, and finally murdering them.

The Islamic guide urges the potential attacker to pray before embarking on his mission so that God leads him in the right path. Assailants are also instructed to change their appearance as much as possible in order to ensure they do not appear to be religious – this includes a recommendation for a clean shave.

When it comes to killing “infidels,” the guides recommends that attackers first forge an ID card in order to rent a vehicle. It also advises attackers to kill foreigners far away from work in case the assailant works in the same company, in order to avoid becoming a suspect.

“After the mission succeeds you’ll realize this is very simple and there’s no need for a whole cell (to do it,) one, two, or three people are enough,” the guide concludes.”

Later, attackers are instructed to plan an escape route in advance and be careful not to tell anyone about the murder. The guide also encourages killers to record their act so it can be presented in the media and enjoy wider resonance…

Brought to you by Ynet and MEMRI.