That’s a long diaper-change.

“Ok, Beebs, let’s stop here on the side of this shop and get that diaper changed… Man, that’s a big one! Lady you are not…”

…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

“Oh, the bomb siren drill. Weird that it’s a siren and we don’t have to stand at attention, eh, Beebs? Actually, no one is even close to taking this seriously… Check out those soldiers strolling along Emek Refaim like it’s all totally normal… Where are the wipes?”

…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

“Did I not bring enough diapers? Oh, there we go. Yeah, there’s actually no one on the street so maybe people just went inside places. There’s a bus, floating by…”

…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

“Beebs, what would I do if it was real? Am I the kind of mother who would take you and run? Go anywhere but here? Is that right? Am I the kind of mother who would stay? And hug you in bomb shelters till it was over?”

…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

“I dunno, girl. I really don’t know. That’s a lot of poo, and the siren is still going and I’m still cleaning you up. We suck at this, Beebs.”

…eeeeeeeeeeeee.

“And, boooom.”

Breaking my sleep barrier.

I woke up this morning at a quarter to seven to an enormous boom right outside the bedroom window.

I jerked my head up, like the deer in Bambi when the shots are fired in the forest. My first thought is, Oh shit they’ve bombed Beitar…

My husband mumbles, “Don’t worry about it,” and my second thought is, Oh shit we’ve bombed Wadi Fukin, poor bastards.

My husband continues to mumble, “It’s just a plane breaking the sound barrier.”

My third thought is, Oh shit! We’re bombing Iran today. I hope that damn box of canned food and bottled water he packed that I made so much fun of him for is in the ma’amad… which is also our bedroom.

The view from here and National Geographic.

On Sunday nights there is usually nothing on TV for basic-cable watchers; or at least this one. Tonight, however, National Geographic had a special on anti-terrorism technology. And wouldn’t you know, Israel served as all of their examples for technological solutions to preventing terrorism.

bomb robot

Sure, they butchered our names – Amos is ‘Aymus’, Pessach is “Paysack”. And the Israelis do their interviews with thick heavy accents. But it’s nice seeing my own on TV in a positive light, even if the topic is – as always – terrorism.

Which brings me to the eerie feeling that I think many of us have been having lately: something big – and bad – is brewing in these parts. You can feel the stirring if you sit still for a few moments… And it’s a lot weightier than the mild earthquakes we’ve been experiencing in the last week.

Intifadas tend to spring up from the depths of misery after a ‘peace talk’ has proven fruitless. It seems like we’re due for one any minute, considering the kinds of people being called up for miluim lately and the amounts of police back on the roads these days. It’s starting to waft in, odorless, but you can sense it in the media when you hear about knife-wielders caught here or guns jamming there.

I wish there’d be a special on National Geographic about Israel’s advances in cancer research or infertility treatments. Hopefully soon. But for now, I can only take comfort in the fact that as this feeling creeps over me, I’m in somewhat protective hands.

An Israeli workday.

This hasn’t happened in a while, but today was a high terror alert in Jerusalem so the police were everywhere. Here’s what I watched from my office window after police discovered a suspicious package near the Malha mall:

bomb squad robot

 The bomb squad guy getting the act together with (Israeli) man’s best friend.

 traffic build up

Traffic backed up to the mall. Sucks to be in a vehicle! Or a pedestrian.

 bomb robot

Look at Rover go… In about three or four explosions, the job was done.