The Prime Minister makes a PowerPoint

It’s night three of my daughter’s cough and it’s gotten much better. I’m sitting uncomfortably on the Hello Kitty stool next to the crib, with my forefinger making lines in her palm, my phone on ‘play’ in the other hand, and in my left ear, an earbud is loosely holding on.

The prime minister is making a point.

It’s been there all along. The Americans have been briefed. Iran lied, in large Times New Roman font.

A curtain is removed, revealing mischief, and another curtain is removed, revealing added mischief.

Binders and discs of menace. 110,000 shards of threat.

Slide after slide, graphic after graphic. Warhead drawing. Embedded incriminating video. Shabab in Times New Roman. Project Amad in Times New Roman. I wonder who was responsible for cleaning up the slides before they went on stage. I wonder if they felt like I do before my work goes on stage.

On some level, above or behind or despite the Prime Minister’s choicest phrases, we’re all wondering the same thing: how the hell did the Mossad agents on this project get away with this? And which non-Jew will star in the leading role someday?

The theatrical prime minister is making a point. In the age of social media, all he needs is a 90s-era PowerPoint, tens of thousands of documents stolen and smuggled from Iran in one January night, and Times New Roman.

Times New Roman, the universal language in making a point.

And then it’s morning, and I’m walking my daughter to gan, she’s shying away from the big black dog that hangs around the area. Parents are mumbling half-thoughts to their kids. Gates are squeaking open. Car doors slam. The sky is cloudy, the branches on the trees are ever-so swaying.

And looking around me, I remember last nigh. Huh. Just as simple as Times New Roman. We put ourselves out there in Times New Roman.

#tomorrow12: Bloggers Q&A with Shimon Peres

I’m the one who videoed the entire Q&A session that President Shimon Peres gave us bloggers at the Israel Presidents Conference today.

Below is the whole uncut video, but below that are quotes from the topics discussed. (I’ll try and update when I splice it by topic.)

I was a bit disappointed the questions all seemed kind of obvious. Why didn’t anyone ask him what his funniest moment in Knesset was?

Here’s a quick review of the topics he was asked about:

  • Iran: “The real problem is… not that we don’t like the Iranians. The problem is the Iranian menace to the world. If they wouldn’t do it, I don’t think anyone would say a word against Iran.”
  • Lack of women in hi tech and government: “Men have to learn a little bit… I want to tell you, if you don’t mind, every woman is born like a mother. And every man passes away like a baby; he never matures. So better have a mother in management than a father in management… Every woman is a civilization in her own right.”
  • What would you ask from God?
  • Rocket-fire from Gaza: “What do they want? To run Gaza, or to run terror? We don’t want to see Gazan people suffer. The only ones who can make them suffer are the ones throwing rockets against us.”
  • Change in the government system: “The basic change of the system is not government, it’s the electoral system.”
  • Receiving the civilian honor by President Obama: “I felt that the real recipient of the prize was the Israeli people… I think this was a salute to Israel for showing that democracy can withstand shortages, difficulties, and walls, and never have a day of war postpone a day of freedom.”
  • On America: “As a student of history I think what is unique about America, is that it’s the only power in history that got its strengths not by taking, but by giving. American history is a history of generosity, and not a history of occupation.”
  • Future of Jewish people: “The Hebrew language is very impatient… what we have is two times: past and future. Everything either happened, or will happen. There’s nothing on the waiting list.”
  • Two-state solution; is time running out?: “You need patience in life… There are things that take time, setbacks, don’t lose your life. There is no better solution… than to have two states living in peace.”
  • Jonathan Pollard: “One thing I have authority… to forgive… I’m not above the courts. My consideration is not what’s written in books of law… but what is written in book of your heart. There are cases which are heartbreaking… so my consideration are purely humane.”
  • Syria’s inability to revolutionize: “A man that kills his own babies… is one of the most shocking things I’ve experienced in my life… is to see a small coffin and there is a baby who was killed, brutally… how can you stand it? But there is a dilemma on how to handle it…”
  • Birthday wishlist: “That all other people will have happy birthdays.”

Best of all, I got to shake his (88-year-old papery) hands and tell him what an inspiration he was. Don’t change, man. Don’t change.

Other Tomorrow 2012 coverage: 

 

If only it were that simple, eh, Diplomacy?

It’s on my mind. Constantly. The fact that it’s nearly Purim and everyone wants to draw comparisons doesn’t help.

So I’ll let Jon Stewart take on the Iran-Israel-USA dance of doom: Words of Warcraft

(And, come on, he totally could’ve saved the erection slip-up by pointing out that it’s all the MEN and TESTASTERONE that is forcing us all into this corner…)

Breaking my sleep barrier.

I woke up this morning at a quarter to seven to an enormous boom right outside the bedroom window.

I jerked my head up, like the deer in Bambi when the shots are fired in the forest. My first thought is, Oh shit they’ve bombed Beitar…

My husband mumbles, “Don’t worry about it,” and my second thought is, Oh shit we’ve bombed Wadi Fukin, poor bastards.

My husband continues to mumble, “It’s just a plane breaking the sound barrier.”

My third thought is, Oh shit! We’re bombing Iran today. I hope that damn box of canned food and bottled water he packed that I made so much fun of him for is in the ma’amad… which is also our bedroom.