delusional

sometimes i get delusional. meaning,

i hear the heavy step of my dad coming home after a long day of work. meaning,

it’s 11 pm and i hear the door creak shut and the heavy steps of those clunky shoes, one with a foot and one with a half-foot and a brace. meaning,

it’s time for me to run downstairs and tell him how i did in school, what i discovered, to ramble on and on for a good ten minutes before remembering that he’s not paying attention. meaning,

it’s a crapload of frustration at thinking my dad doesn’t pay attention to what i have to say.

but he does.

i’ll turn my head when i hear the clunky steps. it’s a delusion. or it’s my brother. the new man of the house. at the same time, my dad’s out there working hard and coming home exhausted at 11 pm.

clunky steps and all; just not here.