…had an interesting convo with my mom today. she’s afraid that i’m not moving enough, not being productive enough, and i’ll hate this and come home. did i say afraid? ha, possibly hoping. well, she wants me to be ‘happy’. she is rooting for me, in the sense that i find what i want to find out of all this. and u know, as hard for me to understand as it is, no one is happy after moving to a new place not knowing anyone within 7-8 months… people here are lucky to find jobs they like after 2 years, and we all left our best friends behind… so i guess that’s the way it is… i’m allowed to feel lonely and pointless and unproductive, maybe it’s part of the process… i dunno…
i’m not alone, that’s the thing – u know when billy says:
“they’re sharing a drink they call lonliness… but its better than drinking alone…”
that’s what it is. that’s aliyah, stage 1. for me, and the people i’m sharing the drink with at least.