When you end up in the girls’ Purim costume aisle in Bet Shemesh

Mom of the year spent a couple hours today exploring the Purim costume scene in Bet Shemesh.

I never really did that before because –

a. my oldest has wanted to be Mordechai HaYehudi for the last two years and bathrobe + makeup beard + paper crown = score!

b. I never had that much time anyway.

Yes, I learned a lot today.

  1. I learned that Israeli Purim costume options are both endless and extremely limited.
  2. I learned that I am never ever going to pay NIS 170 for a manufactured version of the costume my son wants and I’m going to make it from scratch and that’s that, kids (he’s getting it for around NIS 55 AND he gets to keep comfy shirt and sweats after).
  3. I learned that if that freicha in the aisle next to me were to whine the word ‘zombie’ one more time I was going to kick her in the shins. Even her son looked like he would take a bite out of her.

Most of all, I learned that not every Israeli Purim costume for little girls is sexy. In fact, in Bet Shemesh, they can go a totally different route…

1. The Matriarch

Quick, who’s your favorite matriarch? Is it Rachel? I bet it’s Rachel.

Rachel Imeinu Purim costume

Get your elaborate Rachel costume for only NIS 99.99, complete with camel imagery, as appropriate! Torah inside jokes!

2. The Other One

Yeah, I hear ya. Everyone and their mother is gonna be Rachel this year. So how about…

Rivka Purim Costume

Aw, you thought I’d say Leah? Nah, not Leah. Though the makeup could have been fun.

3. The Oddly Specific

Moving away from biblical female Purim costumes based on puffy gowns I’m pretty sure didn’t exist back then… and moving towards puffy gowns that exist for the sake of existing, and then some.

SpongeBob Princess

Hebrew-challenged? Disturbingly weird fifteen-year-old Nickelodeon cartoon challenged? That costume is: SpongeBob. Princess.

I officially can’t.

4. The Classic

And, if none of these options fit your daughter’s wild underage girlish fantasy, you can always go with – but of course – literally, ‘naughty kitten’… in a toddler size.

Naughty kitten Purim costume for girls

And don’t get me started on the sexy Hello Kitty costume line for grown women.

Liz’s How To: become a total creep over Hello Kitty

Racing through Malha mall for errands today, the heavens opened up and rays of sunlight poured down and unicorn angels sang and my eyes fell upon this… mecca of old school cuteness…

Granted this would completely make my daughter’s day, week, month, year – somehow she’s head over heels in love with ‘KITTY! HELLO, KITTY!!!’ – I was totally confused when I saw this.

What’s the date? Is it 1984? Where am I? FAO Shwartz? I’m in Jerusalem? There are a few more grown women than I’d expect pushing their newborns in expensive strollers into this completely unnecessary store?

Don’t get me wrong, I was a huge Hello Kitty fan as a kid (for reasons I can’t really figure out now, decades later). Japan knows what it’s doing. Sanrio was pure  genius, right there with Lisa Frank.

It was just surprising to come across an entire shop right here in Israel’s capital,  dedicated entirely to Hello Kitty merch – shirts, dolls, bags, pencils, dolls, suitcases, bikes, and dolls.

First I snapped a few pics to show Bebe – her reaction every time she sees a Hello Kitty image is priceless: <squeal> HELLO, KITTY! KITTTTY!</squeal>

Then I walked in to fully take in a really big piece of childhood awesomeness.

Then I walked out, made it a few steps, and looked down. I happened to be wearing – a couple months after my mother gave it to me as a nostalgic relic – well, when I realized what I was wearing, I was quickly transformed into a total creep at the dawn of her fourth decade, having attempted to be ironic this morning when I had put on… this very t-shirt:

(I now understand better the sales lady’s face after I responded in the negative to whether she could help me…)

 

Babies need stuff.

Tada! In a feat I could never have pulled off on my own, we have managed to choose and order and place a deposit on a baby package consisting of furniture/stuff/things. That, about a week after we first became traumitized when taking a commerical peek at what we were in for. 

To answer a few questions: 

What is a baby package?

Instead of ordering everything separately and possibly spending more than you’d need to – and also (possibly) to make it waaay less overwhelming – they bundle a standard package which you can add on to and choose from within. It includes a crib, dresser/changing surface, stroller, infant car seat, bath, and a whole bunch of little things to get you started (and, yes, to get you hooked on baby-scented name brands). 

What is Motzizim?

Well, for starters, motzetz (מוֹצֵץ) is the Hebrew word for pacifier (or dummy as my husband says it, or binky as my family referred to it, or sucker as the store owners probably call it).

Motzitzim (מוצצים) is a big baby store chain that probably resembles the closest we’d get to an American baby superstore. They have branches across the country. I can’t speak for other branches, but the one in Talpiot, Jerusalem was probably the finest customer service I have ever had in this country. And really, no wonder: the baby business is big business, especially in such a family-friendly country as Israel.

While I’m at it, shout out to Ruti, who totally rocks and didn’t play on the first-time parents stereotype too  much. 

There are other baby stores around Jerusalem, and some of the others we visited in Talpiot were Dr. Baby, Shilav and the back of Bizaar Strauss, but the prices weren’t any lower really and the selections were lame. Others would agree. 

How do we get the goods?

After I easily and wonderfully and painlessly deliver the child, tired husband calls the store and let’s them know we are ready for the – second – delivery (ok, fine, only one of those action items actually take place). Within 48 hours they are meant to come to our apartment and set up the furniture. 

So… that was definitely easier than I thought. And it didn’t hurt our budget too badly. On to birthing class!

City feature: Namal Tel Aviv

The area of the Tel Aviv port – נמל תל אביב – (right before Beach Mezizim) is one of those situations where ugly warehouses went for cheap rent, so trendy designers and cafes opened shop and now all the trendy wendys go out there a beautiful day to shop, eat, chat, ponder life, and whatever else a trendy wendy does. At least, that’s my theory, anyway.

One Friday we sort of walked into it by accident, but after strolling around we realized it would be the perfect place to take our ‘posher’ friends next time they come visit.

Warehouses can be beautiful.

Tel Aviv Port

Sip cappuccino with this view.

A shady view.

The streets are paved with gold tiles.

Aroma for kids

I’m not sure when it’s ok for kids to start drinking coffee, but the Aroma at the port has it’s own kids section with Aroma play house. Never to early to start working a cash register.

Another genius Israeli marketing campaign.

It’s so brilliant, my husband didn’t even get it at first. That’s how brilliant it was. When I laid eyes on it, I knew the time had come to switch from doing American marketing campaigns to Israel marketing campaigns. Plus, it made me want to buy all the clothes in the shop, because god knows I wanna be…

sexsexful

…sexsexful.