‘I’m sorry.’

Before I share this: I’m a classic American millennial unregistered independent. I’m also an expat. My dog in this fight is a different shade than an American resident’s. That said, I did have opinions, I did have a worldly view, I did have a dog nonetheless.
Federal elections are my SuperBowl. This one was a bit more than that. I don’t recognize America and it’s clear I was right that I never really fit in or lived in a different reality as a New Yorker.

All that weighed on me this morning, after hours awake watching the coverage. My kids watching me watch the coverage. 

My daughter was watching me as I let out a sigh and I turned to her:

‘I’m so sorry.’

Her face asked, why?

‘I’m sorry we couldn’t do better.’

Her face asked, how?

‘Remember I told you there was a man and a woman running for president in America?’

‘Yes.’

‘And the man is a bully? And the woman had made a lot of mistakes, and we make mistakes and we all do wrong things sometimes… and how no one can be perfect…’

‘Yes.’

‘And even though neither of them are perfect, I really didn’t want a bully to win.’

‘You wanted the woman to win?’

‘Yes… I really wanted you to see something different.’ 

‘And the man is winning?’

‘Yes.’

‘Who did grandpa want to win?’

Now I was holding back tears. 

So they say the healing has to begin. But to what end? The chorus stays the same. The song never ends. 

Sleep well, America.

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