Bebe update: twelve years

A lot of people don’t know how to make choices. I don’t mean the right choices. I mean, how to go about choosing.

Not only do you relish in making choices, you know how. Or it’s innate, at least. It comes easy to you. Whatever is going on in there is an actual thinking process. And you don’t get stuck in it, the gears turn smoothly. It’s a great ability.

And now that you’re twelve, this ability will only be tested more and more. Among friends, much of the time. But also every day, inside yourself, you quickly growing, expanding, changing self.

There’s a lot of responsibility in you. Feeling responsible. I think, when we look around, it’s a common oldest girl thing (ahem). It’s a strong suit, and it’s a trap. It’s important to manage it. You don’t owe the entire world everything of yourself. You don’t owe your siblings either, or your friends, or our friends, and certainly not us.

So you’ll have to leverage that choosing ability, Bebe. To be responsible… responsibly.

That being said, I won’t dare discount your amazing sense of comfort zone. You know where it is – and even if it’s a bit uncomfortable sometimes, you actually are able to tell yourself where it is – and even others, if it comes to that. My god, is twelve year old me envious of that confidence, that bravery to set boundaries. You don’t suffer foolishness, not when it clashes with your values or your gut instinct. Hold on to that – cherish it – you’ve been tested already in elementary school. (Examples, see: that class whatsapp group, for one! Or the time you were clear that music video was way too naked for comfort.) And you’ll be tested way harder going forward into middle/high school next year.

Keep choosing confidently.






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