Lizrael Update

Lizrael Update: babbling about the expat life since 2004

  • Another rainy Jerusalem day… in May.

    It’s unnaturally pouring outside. Dark cloudy sky, thunder, lightening, the whole package. It rarely rains like this in the winter, nevermind summer. It’s also not a blessing for it to rain at this time of year. Is God angry at us? Well, he couldn’t have picked a better day to express it. It’s Yom Yerushalayim…

  • There's always that.

    Friend and I discussing how crappy the all-around situation is in Israel right now: Friend: What we need is all my friends in Israel to take over the government. Me: You couldn’t pay me. Government is shit. It’s the thing that exists so that someone else out there can rebel against it and make life…

  • Israeli Pet Peeve #476: The Hebrew Contest.

    This featured pet peeve isn’t limited to being just an Israeli edition; it’s an oleh chadash pet peeve as well and it’s one of my most hated ones of all time. So get ready. I, by nature, am not a competitive person. I think when I was younger I did have a strong competitive streak…

  • Topic diving.

    About 6 months ago the time to start developing a thesis topic arrived. I’m at my fifth idea after four have been rejected by either my overseeing professor or myself. At this point, I’m even minus an overseeing professor and I have no idea where to turn for assistance. I will say, though, that my…

  • Today's Word: מתיחות

    Today’s word is brought to you by my new hip hop class. As mentioned, I started taking dance classes. I learned last Monday that I don’t mix well with organized dance. On Friday I decided to go with something a little bit looser, so I joined a street hip hop class. It was a lot…

  • Weather report.

    Last night, in Jerusalem, we experienced a hot rain. It doesn’t usually rain here in May, and certainly not in a tropical hot rain kind of way. Today, the sky is yellow. See for yourself: I hope tomorrow it’ll rain cats and dogs so that we can be rid of that stupid phrase.

  • Students, leave those teachers alone.

    It’s kinda funny that I’m supposed to be studying Conflict Management & Negotiation right now and instead the government, university heads and students are all at battle with each other. Hmm… What would I say if I could speak my mind? Anyway. Here’s a photo I took of a hauntingly empty classroom where education is…

  • Israeli dancing.

    Tonight I learned – nay – was reminded that there’s a reason why my parents didn’t sign me up for a second year of ballet and I dropped out of Israeli dancing class in sixth grade. I can’t dance. Well, that’s not true. I can bump and grind and rock out in front of any…

  • City feature: Haifa

    Now that summer is upon us, there’s a new series of jokes going around the cynical Israeli circuit, which revolve around the same punchline: “So, what are you doing this summer?” “That depends – when does the war start and end?” “Hey, feeling like a weekend in a tzimmer?” “Maybe; but let’s wait for the…

  • 33 means fire.

    It’s the night of Lag B’Omer, which means Jerusalem is up in smoke, though we’ve done it to ourselves. Bonfires abound (as do marshmallows) as we celebrate… Wait, what is it we’re celebrating? It seems to matter not; all anyone wants to do is run around the city and collect wood and burn things. Kind…

  • Showing more than leg.

    My leg is famous thanks to BY‘s photography and this website: “Elections now.” It’s funny because I don’t necessarily believe in elections now, but it may be the start of a political-modeling career.

  • Shabbat eve in full bloom.

    The good Jewish husbands bring their wives a bouquet of flowers on Friday afternoon for a shabbat shalom. The great Jewish husbands take their wives on a Friday afternoon stroll through the Jerusalem Botanical Gardens so she can pick out her own.

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