Lizrael Update: babbling about the expat life since 2004
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An immigrant's dozen.
So, Nefesh b’Nefesh is collecting olim’s top 12 favorite things about Israel, eh? Hmm… 1. Hebrew rap 2. Tzfatit cheese 3. Children of olim 4. The fact that Israel only started mass producing ‘real’ orange juice a few years ago 5. Jerusalem bus system 6. The way in which Israeli guys hit on you (except…
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A taste for local stuff.
I was in the mood for local stuff on the sherut back to Jerusalem, which today meant a hit of Hadag Nachash. When I’m feeling bad about Israel, one of the few things that can get me feeling better these days – aside from a seeing a charedi helping a chiloni or vice versa –…
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At least it's not Arutz Sheva.
It seems there are those out there who are sure my name is Batsheva. My landlords call me Batsheva.My classmate calls me Batsheva.My second-cousin-once-removed calls me Batsheva.My first grade teacher called me Batsheva. I don’t mind; it’s a pretty name, I’d argue prettier than the Eli-version. I’d just like to know whether I should change…
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My anchor.
With all the news getting worse around here, I find my immediate reactions to reading the paper or hearing a headline getting louder and more exasperated. My sighs are heavier. My eyes roll further back into my head. Somehow, I’ve become even more sarcastic. I’m digesting it all faster and the indigestion gets more and…
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Example #211 of Kibbutz Galiyot.
I may go to school with Israelis, work with Anglos, be related to Charedis, and live amongst Mizrachim, but believe it or not, I don’t hang too much with the Ethiopian crowd. That is – until tonight. A coworker got married in Petach Tikva and it was a crazy experience for a few reasons: 1.…
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Cracked-out Sesame Street marketing.
I once wrote about a bizarre and freaky Israeli marketing technique employed by the phone company using a cracked-out bird cartoon for a new campaign. It seems cracked-out Sesame Street marketing is popular around these parts. Call the Bezeq alcoholic parrot the Big Bird approach, if you will. Well, here comes more freakiness – the…
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The every-day.
There comes a point – after you move far away from where you grew up – when you realize that you’ve been cut off from the every-day, and even from the once-in-a-while. A few months into the self-induced separation, the happy birthdays and mazal tovs flow; you invite each other to happenings from across the…
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Same, same but different.
I saw not one – not two – but three different guys wearing “SAME SAME/BUT DIFFERENT” t-shirts today. When young Israelis finish the army, they collect whatever savings they have and venture off into the wilderness that Southeast Asia has to offer. One of their main stops is Thailand, where everything is cheap and shopping…
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How to get by these days.
These are hard times. There’s war in the air. If you’re feeling despair, here’s an exercise to make you feel better: 1. Open a new file or folder in your computer. 2. Name it “Ehud Olmert”. 3. Send it to the trash. 4. Empty the trash. 5. Your computer will ask you, “Do you really…
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Israeli is to chic peas as Russian is to dentistry.
Sometimes I’m amazed that I still have new experiences to write about here. I had my first Israeli dental experience today – or should I say Russian dental experience? It seems that to be a dentist here, you have to be Russian, and you also have to be way harsh about poking around in there.…
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Typical, every day.
Today is a typical day in Israel. A weekday, a Thursday, a typical day in the State of Israel. And three articles in today’s newspaper brought me to tears in the middle of a bus ride. The first told stories of Ethiopian Jews who died or were killed on the way to Israel. The second…
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Home center.
I rag on Jerusalem a lot. Blame it on the love/hate. And the weird rain. But, in honour of Jerusalem Day today, I will make an announcement that is happy; for the city, anyway. We’ve decided to stay in Jerusalem for at least another year. This is not out of charity (that the city really…
Questions? Comments? Advice?