Lizrael Update: babbling about the expat life since 2004
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Speaking of restraint.
Sometimes I’m amazed at myself, how I threw my fate into the pile with everyone else in Israel. I sit on the bus, and realize I’m one of those ‘everbody else’ sitting on the bus. I stand on-line at the supermarket, and there I am, ‘another somebody’ standing on-line at the supermarket. And with that,…
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Verbal t-shirt-arrhea.
So. What if me and a friend start a wedding shtick t-shirt business? For the unmarried friend: “I know, I know, soon by me…” For the groom: Quagmire saying, “Harei at mikudeshet li? Giggity giggity!” For the bride: “Touch me, I’m one big segulah.” We could be rich…
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'Very religious' people & me.
Me and ‘very religious’ people are not friends. Not today at least. I’m sick of ‘very religious’ people telling me how to be, what to do, what I do wrong. Especially when they pay double the price for their ‘most kosher’ food when really they are paying rabbis who force food producers to pay them…
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Mazal tov! (Duck!)
Israeli couple Maya and Shlomie ‘settled’ for a high school bomb shelter instead of a 900-person convention center for their wedding in Kiryat Shmona Thursday afternoon. Ok, they weren’t allowed a public gathering in a convention center by military rule; not exactly recommended either way, Kiryat Shmona is a kilometer from the border. Mazal tov!(Ynet)
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Reason #419.
Scene: Nine very big charedi people… and little me sitting between two of them. Big charedi woman sitting on my right from Flatbush, Brooklyn: “So why did you make aliyah?” Me: “…I didn’t really feel like I fit in.” (It would be better as a cartoon.)
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Theory & practice
Since my charedi mother-in-law has come to stay with us, I have had more contact and insight into the diaspora charedi world than I did even living in NYC for 22 years. I guess you could say I spent years, after my initial becoming religious, turned off from wanting to know about the ‘ultra orthodox’…
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Sign out of Jerusalem:
“Soldier! Thanks for watching over us. Come home in peace!”
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Overheard in Jerusalem.
American son: “What are we gonna do about this bag of leftovers?” American dad: “Well, it’s leaking, we can’t take it in the cab. Do you know what they would do to us if we got their car seat all stained?” American son: “Sue us?”
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Etgar Keret #3.
A third Etgar Keret piece that can be found in the NYTimes. Who loves Etgar Keret? We love Etgar Keret! The Way We War By ETGAR KERET Tel Aviv YESTERDAY I called the cable people to yell at them. The day before, my friend told me he’d called and yelled at them a little, threatened…
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Propaphelia.
My dear fiance is watching Palestinian propaganda on our new TV. There are only 3 channels, and the other two are news. How do I know it’s propaganda?Because of the Nazi music in the background. And the burning Israeli flags. And most of all: the children marching army-style.
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Somebody else's updates.
Newly founded ‘Army of Suicide Bombers’ marches in Gaza“About 100 veiled and heavily armed Palestinian women marched through the streets of Gaza city Tuesday. The militant women belong to a unit recently founded by the Popular Resistance Committees. The ‘Army of Suicidal Bombers,’ as it is dubbed, consists entirely of women. A message released by…
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FYI, 24/7.
I stumbled upon this just now at work: Timeline of the 2006 Israel-Lebanon Hezbullah Crisis War 2006 Israel-Lebanon Hezbullah Crisis War Since when did Wikipedia become a newspaper? It’s ridiculously up-to-date, if not always 100% accurate.And what did we do before the Internet, accurate or not…?In the Gulf War I remember highlighting paragraphs in the…
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