Lizrael Update

Lizrael Update: babbling about the expat life since 2004

  • What good are microphones if they're not on?

    I wish all the microphones were always on and nobody ever realized.

  • NBN does a good thing.

    I think a bit of credit is due to Nefesh B’Nefesh; I’m hard on the Anglo aliyah movement, which probably makes no sense, but to their credit, I just received this email and it was well done. Whether you are living in the North or in an area that is not directly affected by the…

  • Rocket prep.

    For people in the Golan, this is what they are saying to know: “Do not run to the nearest bomb shelter when the alarm siren sounds. The preferred option is to enter protective spaces such as a reinforced room in a private home or public facility. If none is available, enter an interior room without…

  • I'm not worried.

    I’m not worried. If she can, I can.A Lebanese bride yesterday, on her way to be married. (taken from sandmonkey)

  • No other place.

    The bus home from Bnei Brak was crowded. The bus station was filled with people and their bags. Today my friend checked in to Gaza for his reserve duty. My cousin’s near Haifa getting her latest chemo treatment and fled to a shelter when they heard rockets around them. I saw a bag that belonged…

  • Safest exam ever.

    It said “building 505 room 1” on the bulletin board. I went down one floor to find room 1. First room: bomb shelter. Don’t need that yet I think.Second room: room 02. Odd.Third room: 03. Did I go the wrong way?Fourth, fifth and sixth: 04,05, 06. Aw, man.Back to first room: 01. Ahhh. A little…

  • I bet your finals aren't this weird.

    Is it weird that there is a war going on a few kilometers north of me and I’m psyching myself up for a law final?

  • Just thinking.

    Ok: Israel is in Lebanon (fact)Syria is afraid. Tells Hizbullah to stop (JPost)Syria is afraid of getting slammed (me)Iran says not to attack Syria or retaliation is promised (Haaretz)Iran secretly wants Israel to attack Syria (me)If Iran attacks Israel, US attacks Iran (me)If US attacks Iran, WW3 has an open door (me)Iran and others want…

  • I get it now.

    I get it now. 6 years of Israel action commitees; 4 years of leadership; dozens of conferences, rallies and tables in the quad… I get it now. I live here and I see the side I’ve been trying to defend, clear as glass; that side is me now. The news here is showng something completely…

  • Toast.

    “Allo!”“Hey, what’s up?”“Toast.”“I hope it’s not burnt.”“So I’m coming to your wedding!”“Oh, I’m so happy!”“How are you?”“Living with my mother-in-law for two weeks. You can imagine my charedi mother-in-law and us illegitimately living together pre-marriage.”“Wonderful. Family is so great…”“We’d make a good reality T.V. show. So what’s up with you?”“I got called up. Leaving on…

  • Operation Summer Rains.

    It’s rare that it rains during the summer in Israel. Katyushas have fallen in Nahariya, Rosh Pina and Sfat, and there is a threat at Haifa. Where the hell is the IDF? More accurately, where are their heads? There eyes and ears? Who’s running the operation here? Operation Summer Rains, indeed. **I’m taking it out…

  • Today. All day.

    Here are today’s highlights: I had to wake up at 6 am for work.I lost my wallet.The bus driver refused to believe I’m over 18.My bus broke down in the West Bank.A pervert was feeling me up on the bus towards home.The biggest juke I ever saw was next to the toilet as I was…

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