Lizrael Update

Tag: israel

  • Holocaust Remembrance in Israel, 5758.

  • The Computer Engineer's Haggadah.

    Had to share this email I got at work today. Bear with me, I work in the hi tech realm; therefore, I thought this was funny: The Computer Engineer’s Haggadah Release ISRAEL ISRAEL running in slave mode, cannot release Set ISRAEL;mode=master Pharaoh already running in master mode, cannot change ISRAEL Set Pharaoh;mode=slave Command ignored Load…

  • Israeli Pet Peeve #127: Wrong number.

    I have never experienced this anywhere in my life but here with my Israeli mobile number: *Ring ring* Me: “Hello?” Israeli caller: “Hello?” Me: “…hello?” Israeli caller: “Hila?” Me: “No, must be a wrong number…” (about to hang up) Israeli caller: “Who is this?” Me: “What’s the difference?” Israeli caller: “Hila?” Me: “No. Wrong number.”…

  • The plumber just high-fived my husband.

    We’ve been living here for two and a half months and I still can’t get over how freakin’ nice everyone is around Tzur Hadassah. My landlady is a complete doll (read: Polish) and gets everything fixed for us right away. She’s professional, polite and considerate. This is the exact opposite of the experience we had…

  • Priorities, people.

    I was passed an article about a Charedi wedding that took place after being protested by the bride’s parents and the “most prominent Orthodox rabbis.” The daughter of multimillionaires was sent to Israel to seminary and fell in love with a Charedi “yeshiva dropout.” They managed to get married yesterday after getting through protests from…

  • My time in jail.

    Remember the nationwide drill I wrote about? The emergency sirens went off today at 10 am all over the country, wherever you happened to be standing. And me? I was standing in Ma’asiyahu prison in Ramle. And let me tell you, it’s a little surreal to hear a siren go off in a prison. I…

  • Today's word: שוקו ולחמניה

    It must be Israeli food day at work. They just brought us a classic Israeli snack, and as one coworker remarked, “what are we, in kindergarten?” It’s שוקו ולחמניה, a white roll with “shoko b’sakit”, or chocolate milk in a bag: I realize how weird that may sound, but I guess that weirdness was broken…

  • Nostalgia is like a box of chocolates.

    A coworker, upon returning from vacation, brought a box of chocolate to share today, as per the office tradition. I don’t think she realized the excitement it would cause; she’s an olah like me. We found it very cute to watch the Israelis get excited about her choice: It’s a retro-style box of Elite chocolate…

  • Are your medicines kosher for Passover?

    Here’s reason #678 for aliyah: The Clalit health clinic, one of the four major health insurance programs in Israel, has a place on their website for determining if the medicines in your cabinet are kosher for passover. You can check it out here (works better in IE). You can type the name of the medicine…

  • How they do humor in Tel Aviv.

    I needed a sanity check and a little dose of big city, so we drove to Tel Aviv today, parked in the free city-sponsored parking by the Yarkon and then walked through the city for a few hours. It doesn’t take long before you realize that Tel Aviv has its own brand of humor that…

  • A week of drills to come.

    Next week the country is conducting a series of horrible scenario simulations for the purpose of drilling government agencies, the army, government employees and students on how to react in the case of a national emergency. Civil defense drill starts Sun.; to include mock chemical attack “The exercise will continue throughout the week, with scenarios…

  • I am not a stationary creature.

    Over the past few months, I’ve been watching people come and go from Israel. I haven’t been back to New York in over a year and it’s nearly a year since I left the country at all. If you take a look at my past passports, you know that’s a bit insane. At this point,…