Had an interesting Father’s Day exchange; nothing to do with Father’s Day.
Apparently what I had been thinking but hadn’t said yet:
“After what I’ve seen so far, it [marriage] seems like a very complex thing, so there are two ways to go about it: Be very cautious and end up questioning everything you do, or do the best you can and jump in for the ride… I can’t dance around this complex thing forever, and I dont want to die from stressing over it forever. I’m jumping in because I found someone with the same values and ideals and he treats me great, etc etc. I love who he is and what I hope we’ll build. I am hoping to go the route of this philosophy: With time grows mutual strength and sharing and love and unity, as it has for some couples I’ve known. It’s a route taken when you don’t come from a Hollywood kind of romantic love, as in, love grows up with time instead of starting out head over heels infatuated, with no place to go but down. That’s how people like [charedis] do it. That’s why they can hang out for a month and realize a potential partner and still love them when they’re 50. Because they started out with the basics and worked their way up with time, experience and openness. They build something together instead of coming into it with everything already laid out. That’s the model I’m going for. I’ve realized that it’s an asset to be 23 and young and fairly inexperienced when going into a marriage because you have more to build, less to look back on.”