I took my first dip in a mikvah tonight. I suppose this is supposed to be a private-spiritual thing, but as I’m not feeling so spiritual lately and it didn’t seem so private, I’ll say something about it.
It feels great to be a part of something larger than youself once in awhile. It’s not even “a slap in the face at how small I am” or anything. It’s just comforting to know I belong to a community of people living tradition and doing it for the community, and thus, for ourselves. It’s communal selfishness. It’s communal pride. Or it’s just sharing our roles in a community, knowing that it’s there, feeling good that it’s there, feeling small and large at the same time.
Anyway, it was a positive experience, amidst all the unfortunate religious experiences and feelings I’ve been having lately.
And I think that’s what this wedding is about for me at this time of my life. Joining in a communal ceremony to celebrate what my timeless community has been celebrating for years and years and years.