There comes a point – after you move far away from where you grew up – when you realize that you’ve been cut off from the every-day, and even from the once-in-a-while.
A few months into the self-induced separation, the happy birthdays and mazal tovs flow; you invite each other to happenings from across the oceans as a courtesy, purely out of love and appreciation. There are enough phone calls to remember the names of your friends’ weekly dates (for the most part).
After another while, you’re still sent and sending courtesy invites and “hey, what’s up” emails and maybe even phone calls. Then it wanes. And wanes further. Even the mazal tovs are barely shared. On your trips back home, most people don’t contact you or know you’re there; maybe it’s because out-of-sight, out-of-mind; maybe it’s because you just didn’t bother to tell them.
Months become years, and the courtesy invites are long gone. There are rarely anymore emails and the phone calls are mostly from your mom. The only reason you know what’s going on is because you get Facebook updates, but that’s a bit embarrassing so you don’t use them as guidelines.
There comes a point when you realize that most of what you have is, and will always be, wherever it is that you are. Your job pays the bills, and if you have one in Jerusalem, then you don’t have one in New York. The people you go out with on a weekly basis – whether you feel like it or not – are just going to be the people that know more about you, more than your ‘closest friends’ back where you came from.
It doesn’t matter where you move to – Israel or elsewhere. It’s a fact that you grow to accept over a very long period of time, and the more you try to fight it, the more painful it is. And the more you go with the flow, the less you remember or care – but then you’ve lost something that was very special.
And when you finally let go, you’ve forgotten so much. And it takes the very, very big things in life to remember it. And then it’s painful again. And then you go back to work the next day, enter the every-day, and wait to forget it all over again.