Dream come true.

As many Jerusalem-based olim probably have figured out, the Jerusalem Post is the most persistent paper as far as telemarketing for business goes. The English-language papers vie for the olim off the plane, and strike deals with Nefesh b’Nefesh to offer free subscriptions with follow-up deals. I’ve been called 493676745 times since I made aliyah about buying a subscription with the latest deal. And quite a few times I’ve taken the deal (they are sometimes pretty good deals) so it’s my own fault I’m on their list. But I haven’t been subscribed to a paper in about two years.

Anyway. That bit mixed with this bit: the fact that they have native Israelis doing the telemarketing (in Hebrew, for an English-language paper? huh?) so they can be pretty aggressive with the sales pitch.

Today one rep calls me about a deal. Finally, after all these years, I got to give her the answer I’ve always wanted to give a newspaper sales(wo)man:

Rep: So you can get three months of just paying for the weekend paper,  but get the paper all week.

Me: Uh huh. No thanks.

Rep: But if you buy the weekend paper, you’re getting the whole week free. Do you buy the weekend paper?

Me: Nope.

Rep: Really? How about sometimes? Do you buy it sometimes?

Me: Nope. Never.

Rep: Really? Why not?

Me: I stopped reading the news altogether.

Rep: Why???

Me: It’s too sad. It makes me too sad.

Rep: Um… But the weekend paper has all kinds of other stuff, like Design, Fashion, Art…

Me: It’s ok, thanks.

Rep: But… You don’t have to read the rest of the paper.

Me: It will make me too sad to get it. It’s just too sad. No thanks.

Reminds me a little of when I called to cancel our Hot cable and the woman on the other end, offering even more deals, asked why we were canceling.

Me: We’re selling our TV.

Rep: Why?

Me: We became charedi.

Rep: silence…

I guess weird excuses work. But the first story here was the honest one…







3 responses to “Dream come true.”

  1. sara Avatar

    Heh I’m not on their list, apparently. I don’t like too much news either. “What passes as “being informed” today is something that would previously have been called gossip.”

    But your story reminded me of me after high school, when the US military recruiters kept calling. That’s what they do there, they call people nearing the end of high school or just out and try to tempt them with money, play on insecurity. For anyone not going, which is basically anyone capable of holding a steady job at McDonald’s or who was planning to go as a career (but they already apply differently and go way higher class), it is a constant nuisance. Finally, when all my aliyah stuff was in place, I answered one, “I’m leaving the country for political reasons.”

  2. miss worldwide Avatar

    “we became charedi”!! Hahahaha!!! Excellent!
    Btw, mazal tov for your son!!

  3. Lauren Avatar

    The “we became Charedi” line is awesome! I might have to borrow it sometime– once I find an appropriate time to use it.

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