Can you imagine living in the very best, warm, well-dimmed, well-fed place in the whole universe for 9 months, going through the exhausting trauma of birth, feeling the cold, hard shock of the outside world, finding your only solice in being held in the arms of your tender mother and cuddled for 7 days, and then on the 8th day being dressed up, summoned and zig-zag remote control car-driven, in buzzing, clapping, and darbuka drum noise, at people’s feet, between fire sparks and under bright light, in a confused newborn bamboozled state of mind, only to get your penis circumcised?
You want flashy religious observances? Stick with the cheesy Bar Mitzvah entrances and flashy wedding singers. Leave the newborns alone. Joining this covenant is hard enough, don’t you think?!
Meanwhile, I think I have enough time to get my BA in social work, my MA in psychology, gear up for a few years, and then be this kid’s therapist. There seems to be enough money to go around.