100 days into hell

It’s an ugly time. A time of nightmares coming true, a time of mourning and imagining and planning for the worst, constantly. A time when things you couldn’t bring yourself to say out loud a few months ago are now regular topics.

I’ve learned a lot about us. I’ve learned that the ugliest things are even uglier when ugly people are in leadership. I’ve learned it’s possible to weep from places aside from the eyes. I’ve learned with enough stupidity, you can temporarily numb your whole self, but coming out of it is a bitter hangover, every time.

You can turn off your heart. Like a spigot. I see people doing it all around the internet, the headlines, the talkbacks. If you’re human, and you’re comfortable, you can turn off your heart. Like a spigot. The very twisting of it, tight and rotted as it is, is the activating of willful ignorance. You’ll pay for it in rot but you won’t feel it until you are no longer comfortable. Maybe that day will never come in your lifetime; perhaps that makes you lucky. It probably means you are Western.





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