lizrael update

Slice of the Tzur Hadassah commute, minharot style.

Today’s word: תאונת דרכים

Here’s what I get to listen to 45293436% of the time while driving home from school. It’s a loosely translated sampling of the radio D.J. on Galgalatz reading the traffic report:

“And now, the traffic. Folks, take it easy on the roads out there… We all want to get home safely, and we all need to be a little patient. Here’s some reasons why: On road A, from city B to city C, you have about 30 minutes of waiting to due to a תאונת דרכים at the entrance of exit D. And then on road E, going through junction F in the G direction, there is a תאונת דרכים causing 40 minute delays - careful, drivers. In direction H, towards city I, poor drivers will be waiting 20 minutes to pass to highway J because of a… well, תאונת דרכים. On highway K, on the L side of the M exit, they are just clearing up the remains of what seems to be a serious תאונת דרכים; please, drivers, think of the people around you. We will all get home tonight. Be patient. City N is not looking too good right now; junction O, between P and Q, is heavily backed up after a - can you guess? - תאונת דרכים that has caused all kinds of chaos. Road R is just picking up after an afternoon of back up between city S and city T, when not one - not two - but three תאונות דרכים caused lots of trouble for drivers towards city U. At junction V from city W to city X, there has been a תאונת דרכים causing major delays for those drivers trying to get to highway Y. And - this just in - a תאונת דרכים at the entrance to major city Z. Ah, brothers. A little patience, and we’ll all get home.”

So. Can you guess what today’s word - תאונת דרכים - means?

A light on the Israeli police situation.

On my way home from school tonight I was getting speeding off the ramp from Kvish 1 towards Bet Shemesh when the inevitable happened: the red and blue lights came peeking out from behind me from afar.

I recognize that I can be a bit of a speed demon when in the right mood. When I’d get pulled over in the States, I was always polite and well-mannered; I believe in taking responsibility for my own actions. The cop, after all, didn’t do anything wrong by pulling me over. And aren’t I also the one who watches the other speed demons (the faster ones) and prays they get caught as soon as possible?

Anyway, I see the old red-and-blue and of course, I slow down and turn off the radio in order to listen for sirens. The cop was still far away at this point and I thought there was a chance that maybe he wasn’t even noticing me or maybe he will let me off for slowing down. A few minutes continue, with the lights still coming after me but he doesn’t slow down or call out for me to pull over.

I became very confused. I often see Israeli traffic cops driving through the streets or highways with their lights blazing; but they never stop anyone, they are just cruising for the most part. Why do they do this? And if they are going to pull you over, why don’t they turn on the sirens so at least we could know?

For some reason, the uncertainty of whether or not he was aiming to pull me over made me nervous. Was I now the forefront of a car chase? Was I supposed to pull over? I decided to test it and keep driving, even speed up a bit. Nothing in the way of audio signal.

Finally, I pulled over as my heart leapt in my chest. I’m caught, and I don’t even feel like playing the Anglo game because I’m too proud for that. I sigh and wait for him to pull in front of me (for some reason, the cops pull in front of you here, too).

…But he doesn’t. He just passes me. And keeps the lights going. I feel like a surfer with a bloody leg who just got brushed against by a shark. Then I just get angry. Why do you have to toy with me like that, police dude? Why not just give us all lights and we can have block parties on the highway?

I ended up driving through Bet Shemesh right behind him, staring at his revolving, tormenting lights. I picked up the speed after I made the turn towards the black hills of back-end Bet Shemesh and sped the whole way home.

Head (and everything else) in the clouds.

They are predicting the most intense snow storm in decades for next week. Meanwhile, I’m up to here in clouds. They are everywhere, especially in my eyes.

I know I’ve already written about the fog… But I just can’t get over how normal it seems around here.

Here’s a morning commute from this past week:

I didn’t bother including the photos that came out completely white… But you can imagine that, I’m sure. Just put a cotton ball up to your eye.

My new wheels - or - Dream cars are relative.

In the past month I’ve driven half a dozen different cars. It started with the Ford Focus, which I’m borrowing from a friend who has been abroad for a while. The goal there was to get through the move and then get back and forth from the new home. I thought I’d see what leasing was like, too.

Then, this week, came the task of picking the right car to lease after she returns and I give the Focus back.

At some point during the Focus time, I had a Mazda 6 for a week, which was awesome; I fell in love with the car back in 2004, thanks to a college boyfriend who turned me on to the Mazda marketing hype. It also runs like a fun toy trapped in the body of an older, more mature toy who has a wild streak at the same time. Maybe a crazy haircut or cool glasses.

The plan all along was to get a Hyundai Getz - a mini car, yes, but the best in its class and a very popular model for leasers here in Israel. It’s a tiny car but great for city driving and packs a punch for its size.

That being said, after test-driving one, I started freaking out a bit. I chalk it up to the American in me screaming at the top of its lungs… As well as my American mom, who didn’t quite scream, but was definitely not happy with the idea of me driving such a tiny thing on the curvy highways in the hills. And, yes, a part of me will admit that I couldn’t bare the thought of being found dead in a Hyundai Getz if that ever became the case.

After a night of good, hard introspection (and reconnecting with my American self) I decided to honor my college boyfriend and the Mazda marketing skills, and go for the car I’ve dreamed about since my first ride in the brand: an electric blue Mazda 3.

[DISCLAIMER: You're thinking, "wtf, that's your dream car?" Yeah, well, I was a Saturn driver in the old country - and by Saturn, I mean this - and my 'dream car' before the Mazda was a Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder... so...]

So while I wait for my new toy mode of transport to arrive in another couple weeks, I’m driving a silver Mitsubishi Lancer, which reminds me of a Japanese teenager in the 80s. I also kind of feel like any minute KITT will start talking back to me. That would be awesome.

Lizrael, princess of the rood.

My commute has become significantly more interesting. Not much longer, thankfully, but definitely more interesting.

It now involves driving through a few kilometers of the West Bank; I can hear some of you cursing me out while some of you are cheering me on. I’ll choose to ignore both reactions for now. I don’t think much about politics as I go through it; the goal is to get to work more than anything else.

Anyway, we pass a Palestinian sherut ‘depot’ on the way to the tunnels. Same concept as Israeli taxis, it’s just the license plates are green and the writing is in Arabic… for the most part.

What was funny today was that one of the sheruts was named… I mean, I come from the States where people name their cars, trucks and boats… Even their houses… But I liked the name of this one in particular:

Yafa The Princess of the Rood

A man should love his mode of transportation, especially if it’s also his livelihood. I’m assuming that yafa means the same in Arabic as it does in Hebrew, which is beautiful (I’m told that yafa is actually not an Arabic word and that the driver probably meant it in Hebrew… which is kind of funnier).

My husband wondered what they’d say if he painted our car yellow and he wandered over with a pack of cigarettes and a box of donuts and started chatting with them.

I replied, it’s probably not time for that yet. It’s also not our car.

Getting around town.

Now that I’ve been getting around on only four wheels (as opposed to 4386524 wheels on a bus), I’ve totally forgotten what it’s like to use public transportation. Yes, it’s only been a couple weeks, but somehow, I’ve completely lost the former public transportation patriotism I held so dear.

So, for everyone I’ve left behind as I rev the engine of this bad boy (Ford Focus?), I can only offer as much help as I can. Here’s a quick summary of some transportation websites:

אגד

The redesigned Egged website is pretty impressive for an Israeli online service. As far as intercity lines, you can easily look up routes and schedules, order tickets and now they have a new SMS service: Text to the number 2800 (in Hebrew only) what you need to know and they will get back to you right away with an answer. Actually, I’ve tried it and it took a few tries before I got closer to the answer… But Egged’s phone service is always there and pretty decent (03-6948888).

One issue for some might be that although they claim to be available in English and Russian as well as Hebrew, most of the cooler features are not actually in those languages.

Another major lacking is that there is no updated bus map for Jerusalem. I guess they make up for this by having a fairly good system of buses for the city, as well as the recently-added night lines (which a lot of us expected to die out after the summer).

But you can get a historical overview of Egged! There’s even an Egged museum.

דן

Dan has a friendlier site than Egged; in Jerusalem Egged is your only choice and in Tel Aviv and other area, Dan is the leading bus company, so it really doesn’t matter which site is nicer.

You can look up routes between Tel Aviv and the surrounding areas. It’s the same concept as what Egged did. And like Egged, they are also lame with the bus maps.

It’s nice to know that there are plenty of sheruts in the Tel Aviv area that operate along the same routes as the bus lines. It just means more available transportation.

קווים

The Kavim website is the same concept as Dan and Egged. I love their logo, though. So happy.

They have the timetables although they are not as user friendly or easy to read as when you can enter where you’re coming from and where you’re going with a drop down menu.

סופרבוס

For all those living the suburban dream in Modiin (and Lod, and Shoham?), Superbus is what you need to get to… well, a few places and every 20 minutes. It seems that for these residents that aren’t too many choices, so you pretty much have to put your travel plans in their hands. Of course… There is the train… if it’s running of course.

רכבת ישראל

Well, the whole Israel Railways train system is undergoing renovations. Sure, some of the trains are running, but the website is pretty lame for now. It’s sole purpose at the moment seems to be offering announcements about what is closed and what’s not running. It’s a shame, because the trains are supposed to be the easiest and fastest and more environmentally-friendly way to travel.

Connex

Ok… I don’t know much about the where and how of Connex, but their site is the most professional-looking and easy to navigate. I suppose that’s logical, it’s also the one that is owned by an international company. Interestingly, there English version of the site is… “comming soon”. I guess I spoke too… early.

אוטובוסים

Otobusim is one site with information on seemingly all of the transportation systems in Israel. It includes routes by: Egged, Dan, Metropoline, Kaviim, Connex, Metrodan, Superbus, and the Haifa Carmalit.

Doesn’t seem to be available in any other languages aside from Hebrew, though. However, the best thing about this one is that it has one page with all the other companies’ contact details… And we all speak the language of phone numbers, right?

That pretty much sums it up for now… I’m sure there are more sites out there, and feel free to leave them below.

Happy traveling!

Danger ahead: Israelis with car.

On Thursday, we gained control of one of the most dangerous Israeli weapons in the rather wide arsenal. No, we don’t have shwarma breath… We got a car.

Or, at least, we’re babysitting one for a coworker for the next month until we begin leasing one of our very own from my company. Either way, a fresh, new freedom has been born with this addition to the family and its name is: unlimited petrol.

In the States, I never explored the topic of ‘company leasing’; I always assumed company cars meant your company gave one to you and covered the costs.

Here, it means you have the option of leasing through your company with certain benefits. They may cover your petrol and take care of your insurance. But you do pay towards it out of your salary and it definitely adds up. It all depends how far you have to travel for your job.

I was on the phone to my dad the other week, telling him about this deal. He asked what kinds of cars were offered. I excitedly told him we were going with the smallest (and cheapest), the Hyundai Getz, but for the next month - for the move - we’d have access to a big, bad Ford Focus.

He started laughing and when I realized why, I joined in. Here I am, American born and bred, boasting about a Ford Focus to help us move apartments. I guess that’s some kind of absorption/integration hurdle I’ve passed.

The actual driving in Israel hasn’t been as much a challenge as I had anticipated (tfu tfu tfu). Then again, I haven’t been up North yet.

Sharing a car with someone is actually harder. But we’ve got big plans for traveling to the far corners of this land for as long as we’re lucky enough to afford this luxury.

Down-lowing drivers.

Here’s the DL on Israeli drivers. Not so DL, really.

When you heard those pro-touring-Israel slogans, ‘you have more of a chance of getting killed in a car accident than a suicide bombing’ (rosy campaign, yes) - IT’S ABSOLUTELY TRUE. In fact, it’s, I daresay, TERRORFYING.

On the way to university I had a lift with a guy about my age, owner of a cute newish Fiat. If I were him, I’d also love dodging between slower cars, watching the clock for timing updates, blasting the music. I mean, in the old country, I used to do that too. Everyday, on the way to work. Like religion. So I suppose I can trust my own.
(Being on the passenger end, I have to turn to my own passengers of yore and say, ‘Wow, guys. Thanks for the trust.’)
I take the oppurutunity, as a newly-made Israeli and passenger, to watch other drivers, young and old, acting like kids in the highway. Speeding, tailgating, weaving.

But, well, kids will be kids, right?
Yes - but more importantly and pertinently - Israelis will be Israelis.
Because it isn’t just me and my fast Fiat friend with this habit - tailgating, speeding, weaving. That’s just it - everyone is acting like a kid in a cute new car, big new car, fast new car on the highway.

So, on the way back from university was a slightly different experience. You know the steroetype about cab drivers. You know the stereotype about Israeli drivers. Put it together, with me sitting in the front seat = 35 minutes of heart-racing madness.
This sheirut driver was going 140 km (87 miles) in a rickety clunky sheirut in a two lane highway WHILE TAILGATING inches between his clunker and the cars in front of him. He was literally just a few inches away. A few inches between getting home in 30-35 minutes as opposed to 45-50; between getting home and going to bed and getting into a life-threatening car accident with twelve innocent passengers affected.

Well, he went too far at one point - ok, he didn’t, because I’m writing this after the fact - but he really did push it towards the end and several passengers started shouting at him - “Watch it! We’d rather get home alive than fast!”

Good logic, there. I didn’t know some Israelis could have good logic when it comes to the highway. Slightly comforting on this delicate, dangerous road I’m on.