a year ago i strolled through a surface of moons; darky-tawny-creme-brown moons of people, round circles of people sitting on the thousand year old stones of then whispering words of then now.
there, behind the moons, i saw the stones through the glow of lightbulbs which i am farely sure weren’t there when the romansbabyloniansetc took down the city of jerusalem; but then again, they didn’t need lightbulbs when the whole thing went cascading through history past-present-future in a firey hellish rant.
it was the year of the crazy guy i met in a crazy circumstance with crazy repercussions which i’ll probably never forget but that’s because i’ll never have time to forget, only to keep moving like this crazy guy who just moves moves moves. a figment of my imagination.
i went to the consulate today to cancel my aliyah visa because otherwise when i leave in august for a tourist trip i might make aliyah ‘by accident’ and get detained.
the thing is, tisha b’av for me was when the hot israeli guy behind the counter stamped ‘m’vutal’ on the visa page and handed it back to me. no smile. no words of encouragement. that’s the way it goes. and reality sets in and then the tears sting the very very backs of your eyes so you don’t even feel it till it’s already gone.
but i’ll be back to the consulate.
when a ‘year ago’ is next year.