A new kind of bla.

[How do you express frustration properly in typed script?]

Wedding planning is not fun for me. It’s been very smooth, eventless, which is what most engaged couples probably desire. So for that I’m thankful, because I certainly didn’t need the extra stress in my life of already working a full time job and going to school for a full time degree, among other things.

What’s not fun is having my mom so far away, so that she can’t even enjoy her only daughter doing this big cliche thing. It’s not fun that she doesn’t get to plan the biggest party, when her whole life she has enjoyed planning all the parties.

It’s not fun that my brother has never met my fiance, and that our families have not had big in-law family dinners. And it’s such a shame because we’re all no-fuss people.

It’s not fun being better at long distance relationships than a lot of my close friends. And it’s crap to remark that they have eventless lives or nothing interesting to say. And it’s crap to make excuses about it being hard to keep in touch. Four words: AIM. Skype. Email. VOIP phone.

It’s not fun that I don’t care about all the mushy girl stuff, but I’d be willing to partake in it if I had a tight chevreh of girls here.

I try to look on the bright side all the time. At least we can pay for a decent wedding. At least there are airplanes. At least I have a few people here. At least I found the right guy.

The wedding is just a party to examine what we already know. And I’m content to see it that way, as that is what I have been doing. But the problem is that a wedding is also a very singular, rare event in which the whole family and all close friends get to participate in a process that is very important to you and them. And that is just not happening here, from far away.

And the fun-lessness of it is just sad for me. I don’t like talking about wedding planning. I don’t like being reminded that most of the most important people in my life (aside from fiance) are missing.

As much as I can be, I do the best I can to be grateful and make this an interesting experience to learn from.

And I take comfort in looking forward to my friends and family who will be arriving here to hang out with me at the end of the process…






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