Category: language bites

  • It’s over. Everything is over and my kids have won. Now go read my electric bill.

    Native children ahad, Immigrant mother, efes.

  • Life in Israel: boys will be boys in flower crowns

    Israeli kindergartens love crowns. This is the first year I’ve been personally exposed to the Israeli flower garland thing. In Hebrew, זר. Kids in gan and early elementary school wear these pixie crowns for birthdays, celebrations, ceremonies. Naturally, the Shavuot chagiga in gan is one of them, and between his gan birthday and this, Koala’s now […]

  • Israeli “Who’s on First”

    “יש לי חנות.” “מה יש בחנות?” “פיצה וקוסקוס. מה את רוצה?” “פיצה.” “אין לי.” “אבל אמרת שיש פיצה?? אוקי אז קוסקוס.” “אין לי.” “אז מה יש??” “כלום.” “אז אני רוצה כלום.” “אין לי!” “אבל אמרת שיש כלום!” Little does he realize this is EXACTLY how it happens here. #sabrakids Loose translation: “I have a store.” […]

  • To the immigrant parents I grew up with:

    Dear immigrant parents of childhood friends, Hi. How are you? Have I told you lately your English is incredible? It was really fun growing up with your kid. Maybe I’m still even friends with your kid. Most of my friends from childhood had immigrant parents it seems. It really felt that way, at least. To […]

  • Holiday deal: Get your own set of Tool & Brains (a $20 value!)

    For only NIS 79.99, you can… both protect yourself from zombies and eat like one… fix something right the first time… totally confuse your English-learning child… Get your own set at a Beitar Illit Rami Levy near you.

  • 8 things I’ve already learned this Chanukah

    It’s only the fourth night and I can point to eight things I’ve learned this Chanukah: Chanukah is really really really hard with comprehending kids and not much/no family around. Watching your other immigrant friends run around to local family parties with parents, in-laws, siblings, etc. is tough. Giving out-of-the-blue presents to a small child […]

  • Home.

    I looked up when, among the mumbling, I heard the word ‘מעליב.’ Standing in a long, slow-moving line at a Staten Island department store, I suddenly felt at home. And yet, it wasn’t because I was in Staten Island, or a department store. She turned around to complain about the long line in English, and […]

  • My valuable verbal lesson (or, the lives of tag-teaming Wile E. Coyotes).

    Because it’s not all cuteness and button noses, but also plenty of 3am ugliness, headachey whining and life lessons, I’ll share my valuable verbiage lesson from last night this morning. It’s been a rough few nights. Bebe is having the delayed reaction to the one-year vaccine cocktail, and Koala is going through some kind of […]

  • Which came first, the bird or the meat?

    Koala: “What’s this?” Me: “Chicken.” <Koala looks at it with horrified wide eyes> Koala: “Noooo. What is it?” Me: <gulp> “A… chicken. A תרנגלת.” Koala: “This no chicken.” Me: “It’s… not the same chicken you eat. It’s chicken the animal, not the food.” Koala: “This no chicken. This תרנגלת.” Countdown ticker to innocence-fail: begun.  

  • Koala update: Three years.

    Koala, if you’ll wait patiently over there a minute (ha) while I tell the future parents/new parents a little secret: One thing I’ve learned this past year is that the ‘terrible twos’ is a misnomer. The alleged phase starts way earlier than two, and by the time that two is turning into a three, it’s […]

  • Patriotism through the eyes of a kid.

    A couple days ago, unsure of whether my son’s gan would cover it extensively, I started teaching him about Yom Haatzmaut myself. Which actually just meant teaching him the word דגל. Yesterday, he discovered the Israeli flag in our house… the very one we had been talking about. That made him mildly excited and less […]

  • What?

    “You’re a love.” “What?” “You’re a love.” “What, Ima?” “You’re a love.” “What?!” “You’re. A. Love.” “?מה”