Category: what a country
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Thank you for not smoking. Seriously.
I work in the Israeli equivalent of a big, fancy office building. That basically means it was built to be big and fancy, but it’s half empty and constantly under shiputzim (renovations). My daily exercise consists of taking the stairs as opposed to the elevator to get to my office, so the ‘no smoking’ signs stuck in the stairwells…
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Window FAIL.
Are the birds in Ashkelon turbo birds? What are the chances? Also, you can loosely translate the Hebrew to say: “…to prevent the entrance of Lords of the Wing.” Sorry.
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The manliest men are in Israel.
Home, sweet Israel. Koala and I arrived back from my work trip to the States in two pieces. Soon to be five years here and, oh, how the tables have turned. Anyway, nothing says ‘welcome home to Israel, immigrant!’ like an Israeli marketing campaign. Bezeq Parrot, eat your heart out: Because the manliest men carry…
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Have a good flight from Discount.
I love the ‘טיסה נעימה’ campaign from Discount Bank in Ben Gurion airport. Here’s a sample: In case Google Translate is off by a word or two (ha!) here’s the gist: New Zealand? Take a right at HaSharon shore, a left in Australia and where all the sheep are – there. If you happen to…
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When it's not a drill.
It was about 10 o’clock and I finally had the boy calm and rocking in my arms, reading superficial feature stories in the cyber New York Times. I was between starting breakfast and finishing breakfast, because Koala really needed to be held. Then I heard The Siren pierce my world outside. For a split second…
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Being a Tzur Hadassah housewife.
These days, as you know, I’m a housewife. I’m really not that bored or desperate, as the cliche goes, but I appreciate entertainment when it comes around. Today it came around. For a country built on stones and concrete, I’ve discussed and seen a few too many fires in my years here. But this one…
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Cookie Monster was right.
I’m so hungry I could eat a giraffe… and I will! As soon as my safari animal-shaped shnitzels are done burning. Sure, my kid is only 2 months old, but I can already partake in the kid friendly-shaped foods, can’t I? Oddly enough, someone at Shufersal did not get that message about what goes into…
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Dream come true.
As many Jerusalem-based olim probably have figured out, the Jerusalem Post is the most persistent paper as far as telemarketing for business goes. The English-language papers vie for the olim off the plane, and strike deals with Nefesh b’Nefesh to offer free subscriptions with follow-up deals. I’ve been called 493676745 times since I made aliyah…
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Normal.
People have been poo-pooing the national security drills taking place across Israel today. I understand why; often the bomb shelters are locked up, uninhabitable, or don’t exist at all in places where they should. However, it’s a government responsibility, should happen at least once a year, and as dysfunctional as miklatim may be now, it’s…
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On citizenship, mistakes and boobs.
Today started out with traveling (yes, it felt like traveling) over to East Jerusalem to arrive at the American Consulate to report my 1/3 American son’s birth and apply for a passport for him. Well, almost 1/3 American. Apparently there was a chunk of the application process which I missed: proof I’ve lived stateside for…
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The shaking of my non-faith.
You may think you have everything to lose until you have a kid. Yeah, I had stuff to lose before… but now everything I had to lose is seen in the new light of having a kid and thus everything to lose. Which is why today it dawned on me: My family lives in Israel.…
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Remembering to remember.
I’m lost in the new parent time warp. Completely forgot that Yom HaZicaron started last night until we heard the siren from my hospital room. Watched many of the nurses and patients stand still in the corridor while the Arabs and Charedis went about their ways. Yom HaZicaron has the potential to take on a…