Someone has to heal Oren Zarif’s marketing campaign.

Sometimes, we have to heal the healer. I’m referring, of course, to Oren Zarif. And by healing, I mean help him out with his horribly cheesy marketing schemes.

Sounds familiar? Not sure who I’m talking about? Sure, you do! Here’s a clue:

There are plenty of healers out there in the world, across cultures. There might be a few healers out there who would put a photo of himself in his ad campaign with a lightening bolt between his palms. But there is only one guy in the whole universe who would have a miniature of himself dressed like Tarzan between the palm of his hands.

And that man is Oren Zarif.

Oren Zarif marketing

And Oren Zarif has gone too far. For years, we have tolerated his weekly ad campaigns in the Shabbat edition of the Jerusalem Post… You know the ones: The great Mizrachi healer, posing with those he has healed as well as pseudo-famous Israeli personalities. Ridiculous? Definitely. Photo-shopped? Probably.

A couple weeks ago, we were dining at a lovely Moroccan joint in Talpiot – HaTanjin – where we picked up a copy of a Jerusalem magazine. In it was the following advertisement, as glossy as it was painful:

Oren Zarif advertisement

And that’s when I saw it: the website. The man has created a website. I wonder if he used the lightening bolt to create it.

Well, we piled on to my couch and opened a browser. Two minutes later, we were witnessing the cheesiest video a long-nailed Mizrachi healer has ever dared to film… It was episode 1 of Oren Zarif’s video clip adventures.

I know you are running off to lend your poor, innocent eyes to this masterpiece… Here are some places you must notice:

  • The photo gallery (Please don’t miss the first photo, with Zarif’s head chopped off as he bends to get a photo with Stephen Hawking).
  • The press page (I love how most of the articles are in the style of paid-for advertisements).
  • The bio (Don’t miss this! It’s important that we keep this man’s wife and two kids in our prayers…)