Tag: Hebrew

  • For only ₪10.90: Sexism + newborn onesies!

    For only ₪10.90: Sexism + newborn onesies!

    What do you get when you combine a ₪10.90 clothing bin with a reliable dose of modern society? Classic sexism, in newborn flavor! Here are just a few of the options I noticed at a clothing shop yesterday: 1. Money money money. And Daddy. Nothing is more classic and sexist and just plain gross than “Daddy, […]

  • And you think *America* takes its guns seriously?

    Oddly, it’s much cheaper to purchase a mineral-water gun.

  • Israeli “Who’s on First”

    “יש לי חנות.” “מה יש בחנות?” “פיצה וקוסקוס. מה את רוצה?” “פיצה.” “אין לי.” “אבל אמרת שיש פיצה?? אוקי אז קוסקוס.” “אין לי.” “אז מה יש??” “כלום.” “אז אני רוצה כלום.” “אין לי!” “אבל אמרת שיש כלום!” Little does he realize this is EXACTLY how it happens here. #sabrakids Loose translation: “I have a store.” […]

  • 8 things I’ve already learned this Chanukah

    It’s only the fourth night and I can point to eight things I’ve learned this Chanukah: Chanukah is really really really hard with comprehending kids and not much/no family around. Watching your other immigrant friends run around to local family parties with parents, in-laws, siblings, etc. is tough. Giving out-of-the-blue presents to a small child […]

  • How do you take your Hebrew? Heavily-accented.

    Anglo self-hate. Nothing wins more comments on the Times of Israel than that. The latest? This piece by Noga Martin: Why can’t the Anglos learn to speak? The author made aliyah at 19 with no background in Hebrew. She managed to learn it and speak it fluently, as well as develop an Israeli accent in doing […]

  • Koala update: Three years.

    Koala, if you’ll wait patiently over there a minute (ha) while I tell the future parents/new parents a little secret: One thing I’ve learned this past year is that the ‘terrible twos’ is a misnomer. The alleged phase starts way earlier than two, and by the time that two is turning into a three, it’s […]

  • The magic of being bilingual.

    On the way to gan this morning, Koala spotted a firetruck on the road. Obviously, this made his morning, and for the rest of the way cried out in excitement, “Fire truck! Fire truck woke up! Fire truck is here!” He was still talking about it as we walked up to the gan door, so […]

  • Ok, Tel Avivim too.

    This is for Rafman. Saw this a while ago, thought to post, and then thought twice because it’s in Hebrew. But screw it. Now presenting: שיט שתל אביבים אומרים (Shit Tel Avivim Say)

  • Moving to Israel? Make sure you Stick Around.

    To ulpan or not to ulpan? It’s up to you, but it doesn’t have to end when you leave the musty, dingy premises of the classroom… Take ulpan home with you with Stick Around. The story behind Stick Around goes something like this: “Aaaahhh!!!” my wife yelled, and even though it’s not a word, I could […]

  • There’s a sabra living in my house.

    First of all, today, for the first time, my kid בא נראה’d me. Secondly, OMG *this* just happened. The scene: Bebe is finished with her cottage cheese and I offer Koala the rest. Me: want to finish Bebe’s cheese? Koala: yes, I want this. <takes a bite> Koala: cottage! Me: yep, it’s Bebe’s cheese. Koala: […]

  • The history of Israeli pretzels.

    A short history of flat, flavoured pretzels (bagele) in Israel… true story! If you don’t understand Hebrew subtitles or (exaggerated?) Yiddish, here’s a quick and dirty transcript: The Bagel-Bagel Factory in Poland, 1880 Son: “Father,  mother – I  have an idea! Thin pretzels – in flavours!” Everyone: “What?!” Son: “Yes, with pepper, chedder, spices!” Father: […]

  • The snail and the sleepyhead.

    The latest word I have learned from my son: חילזון. Snail. In their ‘autumn curriculum’ they’ve been teaching about the usual Israeli fall topics: rain… clouds… raindrops… leaves… rain… and snails (?!). I don’t think I’ve ever seen a snail here in Israel. Anyway, the teachers have been getting a kick out of my son […]